"I'm in Lesbians with you"

I'm just going to work backwards cause it helps me remember things. Today was my first pay day with Denny's. Yay monies!!! Work... it has it's ups and downs. Today wasn't a great day. It wasn't terrible either. I think I'm just tired today and I may be getting sick. I feel kind of hot right now and that's making me feel a little irritable. A coworker of mine asked if I was a lesbian today and kept going on about it. It was funny at the time but now I just feel annoyed by it all. I'm sure I'm overreacting but I'm a little worried that this coworker will tell people jokingly and then they'll assume things and I don't want to be seen as something I'm not. I feel like bad things could happen. I don't know. Let it be known that I am terrible at video games. I used to be able to get through games but now, it's a little embarrassing. Sam and I played TimeSplitters. I had fun, I'm just not very good and I let him know that. Sam's brother, Ben, was there for a little bit, but he left us to hang with his girlfriend, Amber. We kept playing for a while and then Sam's coworker and friend, Michael joined us. We mostly played in the arcade and did some of the challenges. With the challenges, it was mostly Sam and Michael. I tried twice but it was just bad. Just dreadful. Michael doesn't have the internet so he really wanted to browse through Youtube and show us a song called "You might be a Mormon". It's all silly but jolly good fun all the same. We ended up watching the Divine Comedy's Lord of the Engagement Ring Trilogy. Good, clean humor. I'd seen it before but it had been a while. It was getting late so Sam kicked Michael out. I don't remember how it happened but Sam ended up lying on the floor and was holding onto my leg, trying to get me to fall down. I ended up just sitting by Sam's head and he told me the history of his pillows. I also discovered that we both like orange juice and lemons. Something small but I really liked just talking with him. I actually didn't say much but it was nice all the same. I really like him :) As of this last Wednesday it's been two weeks. It's weird and crazy and fun. I'm trying not to worry about things so much. I've been stressed about work and about how things are going to work with Sam but I need to stop doing that. I should care and put effort into everything but I shouldn't let doubts and fears overwhelm me. If Denny's doesn't want me, it wouldn't be the most terrible thing ever. If Sam decided to dump me, it would hurt but I know that I could get over it with time and prayers. I know what I want out of my life and that's all I can really work on right now. Anyway! Sam's birthday was this last Monday. I built him a cake with the help of Alyse Cherry and Amy Munn. They are both awesome and fill my life with laughter. I have a picture that I'd like to post but I can't find the chord to do so maybe another day. He really liked the cake and I really liked making it for him. We held a little party at Hans's. There was dancing, hot dogs, love sacs, and Quelf. Oh how I love Quelf!!! My children will grow up with that game!

Sam met my family, well most of them in one setting. He worked for my dad, he met my mom when he helped with the piano moving project and again when I made him dinner. He met Shannon briefly at Papa John's and apparently she glared at him. I don't know. He knew Amber from when she lived in Kingman but other than that he'd never met anyone else. It was a bit soon, I think it had been a week and a half but most of my family was here so it seemed like an opportune moment. I wasn't really expecting him to come to the birthday party but he did. What a champ! Everyone had been asking me questions about him and in all honesty, I didn't really know. I knew he had a mine and I only knew that from a few days earlier. I knew that he grew up in Hawaii and served a mission in Oakland, California. I still don't know his favorite color or anything too specific. I know he likes country music. The Mesa Temple was his first temple to go through. He destroyed his face once while riding a bike, He's the middle child. He knows how to cook, he knows computer stuff, he's a hard worker, he doesn't want to go to college, his middle name is Sterling. Just little things but I love that kid. I think I kind of fell for him when he told me he was trying to impress me on our first date. I know I'm sounding crazy right now but your brain is on drugs when you're in love so I can blame it on that. I haven't said the "L" word to him but I can see myself being happy with him for the rest my life. Nothing is guaranteed though. I think now that we've started talking more it's getting worse. Or better, depending on how you see it. I'm just going to go with it. Be myself and have fun :)

"I Gotta Girlfriend."

If you haven't heard from Facebook yet, Sam and I are going out now :D! There's quite a bit that I haven't blogged about so be prepared for a long post :) Sam was sick for about a week and a half so I didn't see him at Institute on Wednesday but I was praying he'd get better, other than that not a whole lot going on. Friday, September 30th, Chelaine, Kara, Amber, Diane and myself went to St. George, Utah and viewed "The Little Mermaid" at the Tuacahn. It was wonderful. The Tuacahn is an outdoor theater and the stage actually had water running across it and they did an awesome job doing the transition and portraying being underwater vs. being on land or the surface of the water. The vocals weren't that bad either. Amber and I drove up together and she came back with me. I needed to come back because I had orientation with Denny's at 8 am the next morning. Amber has this pretty interesting book about the Chinese Zodiac so we read from that and ended up talking about "our men" for most of the drive. I am a metal sheep. Basically I complain a lot and can be quite deceitful if I want something done my way (according to this book). The book also said that an ox would be a bad match for me. Guess what Sam's Zodiac sign is? I'm not sure what element he is but he's an ox. Amber is a Fire Tiger, which is awesome because she's a red head and pretty darn sassy. Ben is a snake and again, the book suggests a tiger and a snake should should not hook up. I guess in a way it could be seen as somewhat of a Romeo and Juliet thing; the world says we shouldn't be together but we're going for it. General Conference was this same weekend. Unfortunately I missed the Saturday morning session because of the orientation but luckily technology is awesome so I can listen to it and take notes and all that fun stuff. I always love General Conference because I know that there is something in there just for me. The prophet and his counselors have prayed and studied, and prayed some more for the world and have been inspired to share a specific message. This General Conference was kind of different to me because it made me think of Conference in April. That session of General Conference prompted me to move back to Kingman, Arizona. I had no idea why and didn't expect life to work out so well for me. I didn't move back with the intent to get married. And I don't know if Sam and I will work out but I didn't expect to have a guy that I liked to like me back, it's never happened before. I didn't know where I would be working or if I would even find work. All of these things have increased my testimony of following the promptings of the spirit and going forward with faith. I watched to Sunday afternoon session of conference with Sam at his house, where he made me dinner. We still weren't official at this point but I figured this was a great opportunity to really let him know that I was interested in him. There was some cuddling and falling asleep and some giggles, a jolly good time. Mind you I was still nervous about everything. A few people have told me that it would be weird to see me with somebody so I guess subconsciously I thought it would be weird to see me with somebody too. Wednesday night was Institute, as usual. I felt a little nervous going in because there was a 50/50 chance that Sam would be there and he can give me butterflies in my stomach area. I got them right now just thinking about him and us. Anyway, I sit next to him and it seems to take us a while to get comfortable again with each other. I think it's my fault. I'm scared that I'll do something or say something that will make him change his mind. I really just need to get over it. I digress. We talked to each other throughout the lesson and at the end of the lesson Maddie was making an announcement concerning a new missionary effort and since fast Sunday was coming up, we should start thinking of someone now and fast in their behalf. While she was making that announcement, Sam nudges me and says "Hey, do you wanna be my girlfriend?" I smiled really big and said "Sure." He did kind of a pump down thing and said "Yessssss!" Right after that he was to say the closing prayer. I didn't hear one word of that prayer. I got a boyfriend!!! After the prayer, he started talking about chocolate and peanut butter. It seemed appropriate. A girl, Chelsea Birch, I think is a member but hasn't been able to really come to Institute or any other YSA activities so Sam asked me to be friendly so I introduced myself and got to know her a little bit. After that I went to put my scriptures in my car and Sam had to go to his uncle's house. I ended up with Sam's jacket because it was cold and windy. We ended up at Sam's truck because I was returning his straps he let us use to move our piano. That's when he went in for a kiss. It was windy so my hair was all up in my face! So we rotated so the wind was blowing my hair away from my face for the most part but some were still getting all up in my grill so Sam ends up having to embrace my face with his arms and hands and gives me a little peck. I'm walking on sunshine at this moment!!! I go back inside of the church to warm up and play whatever sport we decided on (volleyball). I have to tell someone that fantastic news. Amber Vargas had been rooting for us so while the ball is not by us a run over to her and just tell her I have a boyfriend so we giggle and she gives me a big ol' hug. I decided to let her tell Ben. We had planned on doing something outside on Tuesday but it had rained so I volunteered to make dinner Thursday night. It wasn't as smooth or anything as I would've liked but still pretty fun. I made fajitas and cut up some fresh pineapple and made a pumpkin roll. After dinner and desert we went downstairs and watched "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." It's a pretty short movie so we watched some youtube videos. Some Homestar Runner videos and some Victor Borge. For some odd reason my car alarm went off so we went upstairs to check it out and then Sam had to take off because he doesn't do late nights. I'm a hugger so when I'm departing with a friend I give a hug first, it's just a habit of mine but I don't think Sam knows that so me not kissing him first may come off as me being stand-offish. I just don't really know what to do. I sent him a text after he left kind of explaining that and he was so sweet about it. Yesterday was the YSA co-ed camp out and I could tell that he wants more. Trust me, I wish I could give him just a little more but it's out of my comfort zone so just another thing I have to get over. It may be little awkward at first but I'm never going to learn if I don't try. This last week I've been training with Denny's. It is INTENSE!!! Overall I'm excited to start working but I don't think I've ever felt this overwhelmed before in my life. Now that's I'm thinking about it, I don't feel nearly as scared as I was before. It may be rough to first few weeks but if I'm not supposed to work here, the managers will know and will let me know. I was ready to quit today but I really should just give this a chance and it'll be for a few months and hopefully I will have everything figured out with MCC and be able to start in the spring and work towards a career. I don't know if they'll want me at Denny's part-time but if not then I'm going to have to look for other employment or just scrimp and save everything. Once I have my CNA certification I should find a job easy. We'll just see how everything goes. Here's to the future!