One more week until our vector marketing conference and 34 days until I turn 19. It's been five days since Grandpa Proctor's funeral and three days since Grandma and Grandpa Proctor's anniversary.
It just amazes me how I can have so many different thoughts about life and people in my life in just a short amount of time. Up until Monday night I thought I was practically in love with my manager but in just reading an article in the New Era can change how I look at him. Pretty much I "loved" him because he makes me happy. I enjoy talking with him (we have to call before and after every demo). He seemed to make me feel like I could really do anything but I feel like he's good at it cause he has to. I feel like we could be really good friends but I don't know if that's something he'd be interested in. I mean it's a summer job. Maybe that's how long our "relationship" will last.
I've come to the conclusion that I probably will not have some summer romance. Or any type of romance for a while. I need to guard my heart a little bit and try to make it a little stronger so it can fight a little better :)
I am not alone. I never have been. I don't know why I thought I was. It seemed easier to complain about it but I realize now that I really don't need to cause I am not the first one to feel bad for herself. To feel like she will never get a happily ever after or have her first kiss. I think once I realize that even if I don't get those things, I WILL BE OKAY! Life is short so I'm just going to have fun and do my best to be my best. Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much Maddie and Tegan. I wasn't sure if coming home would be a good idea but I know this is what I needed. You two are the best.
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